Misshka’s story

_“I’d only been in Canada for a year when I got sick. I was here as an international student from India, studying advertising at Humber. I knew advertising was what I wanted to do with my life and I was looking forward to challenging myself, to exploring, to building a career here. But then I just started feeling progressively worse and worse, physically.

I put off seeking care for longer than I should have because I was still learning the ropes of life in Canada, because I didn’t have a family doctor, and because I had too much going on in my life to even consider that I was hospital-sick. I didn’t want to let anyone down. But finally it got so bad that I had to go to the ER and then things happened so fast, it felt like I was in a movie. The bombs just kept dropping. Within a matter of hours I was told I had leukemia. 

It was a wrecking ball through my life. I was googling everything, spending long hours on the phone with my family back home, catastrophizing about all the worst-case scenarios. Chemo, radiation, surgery, and the reality that this is a chronic lifelong illness. There’s no finish line.

Today, I’m on a once-a-day chemo pill. There are a lot of side effects, but it’s a lot more manageable than the scenarios I’d been imagining. I do wake up each morning not knowing if it’s going to be one of the good days or one of the challenging ones, but I adapt and I thrive. Over time I’ve learned to coexist with my condition—even on the hardest days.

I was able to finish school. I was able to land an amazing job in my industry, where people are incredibly supportive. I’ve been able to slowly get back into the things I wasn’t sure I’d ever have the energy for again. Travel, socializing, salsa dancing. And I’ve been able to meet some incredible people, especially through Young Adult Cancer Canada. Having people who understand this journey without needing an explanation is incredibly valuable and liberating.

I’ve learned that sickness isn’t weakness. I’ve learned that I need and deserve all the love I can get, including from myself. I’ve got it written on a whiteboard in my room: ‘I love myself and everything’s going to be great.’

Most days, I believe it.”

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