“The first time I learned about scleroderma was from Google. I was in my second year at Western University when I developed this large lump on my middle finger, so I was googling that and my other symptoms. I landed on this really bad, uneducational video that showed the worst possible case and used absolutely horrible language when describing it. So, when I was officially diagnosed myself, that was obviously the first thing I thought of, and it was terrifying. I was really upset, emotional, confused, and angry. I didn’t have any idea what it was going to mean for my future.⠀
Like, I’d been ‘fun Vanessa’ who goes out to bars and parties, just being young and carefree — and now what? Was I going to have to drop out of school? Would anyone understand me, or even see past my disease?
Honestly, I wasn’t doing too hot in school at the time, and it kind of felt like scleroderma was going to be the nail in the coffin for my education. But, strangely, it turned out to be the opposite. My diagnosis really got me moving. First, I got involved with Scleroderma Canada.I decided to raise money for scleroderma that summer so I had gained their attention. From there I just called them up and said, ‘I want to help you with your social media.’ And they were like, ‘Okay!’
The more involved I got, the more I started to feel a new sense of direction, and I realized that I was really interested in health and diet and stress management. I started taking medical science courses at university and now I’m doing academic research with this amazing professor who I met through the same organization.
I’ve really integrated this disease into my identity, and I’m grateful for the opportunity it’s given me to get to know myself better. I’ve realized that scleroderma doesn't take anything away from fun Vanessa, and it’s helped me discover another side of Vanessa that I hadn’t met before.”
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